I also experimented for a long time. First, the solenoid should be working correctly. Often, it gets stuck in a faulty state and only comes free with a tap on the pedal, or it doesn't work at all. So, it needs to be repaired. Then, the idle rpm of the automatic transmission should be around 800 and only drop by a little (100) when the car is engaged. For this to happen, however, all engine settings must be correct so that the engine doesn't become too lean or stall at a CO of 4%. This all depends on whether the engine is completely cold, almost warmed up, or completely warm. It's all a complicated matter, which workshops often bypass and simply feed more fuel to the engine via the throttle linkage and manipulate it.
Peter